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7 ways to heal if your candidate lost

Stay off social media and talk it out with friends

You watched as the country voted in Donald Trump as the 45th president of the United States Tuesday. For nearly two years before election night, you followed the race. The campaign between Trump, the Republican nominee, and Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton was often dirty and emotionally taxing. Yet, a candidate some loathed is the one who won. It happened. In every single election, it happens. Someone has to lose.

Political debates can lead to rage that lives beyond Election Day. But people have to move forward. Check out The Undefeated’s seven ways to promote healing if your candidate lost:

1. Start by shedding – Get in touch with all of your feelings. Verbalize them. Own them. Call them out, and slowly release them. One feeling at a time, empty your mind and emotions of those things that you cannot change. You can do this by writing them in a journal, having a sit-down with a close friend or spouse, or even yelling.


2. Take a sabbatical from social media – If you are on any social media site, you will see memes, posts and photos of people who express their feelings on the election. It’s their right. Some will not post their opinions in a tactful manner. Many will be boastful. Others will display their feeling of victory while putting others down. The posts can bait you into unhealthy dialogue. Stay away. Take a break. Have face-to-face or telephone conversations with folks you know. That way, you can have a healthy debate with people, even if they disagree with you.

3. Write a list of three to five things you find intriguing about the president-elect – This may be difficult for you. That’s OK. This exercise will establish perspective. Trump will be president for the next four years. Start with one item at a time that intrigues you, good or bad. Then look for that in him going forward.

4. Choose your circle wiselyHaving a mix of people who respect, understand, listen to and know your needs is important. Your postelection crew can help you cope. Have a small get-together and talk it out. Keep your feelings within the circle.

5. Write a list of what’s good in your life vs. what you desireWhere are you in your life? In the midst of emotional turmoil, it’s wise to take a moment to decompress. Name five things that are good in your life right now. Are you healthy? Is your family healthy? Is your family happy? Are you employed? Is your life a step above where you were last year? Now write down your desires. Would you like to be healthier? A promotion? Do you have a passion project you’d like to finish? Do you want to pay off debt? Once you write down a few things you desire, it is possible to develop a level of expectation for our new president. Figure out the things you’re most passionate about. Write him a letter of your expectations. It may not reach him, but at least you’ve put it out there.

6. Reset – Breathe. This may not be what you want, but it’s something that you cannot change. Establish a new beginning.

7. Move forwardYou don’t have to agree with the outcome to accept it. Acceptance is difficult when you don’t understand why the country didn’t see the things you see. Again, it’s something you can’t change. But this isn’t the first time you’ve had to deal with things you didn’t agree with. You can get through this one, too.

Kelley Evans is a general editor at The Undefeated. She is a food passionista, helicopter mom and an unapologetic southerner who spends every night with the cast of The Young and the Restless by way of her couch.