What Had Happened Was: 6/16/16
Oh, you don’t know? We got you.
On Wednesday, our friend Jon “Boog” Sciambi retold an excellent story while he was calling the Baltimore Orioles-Boston Red Sox game on ESPN2. As the tale goes, Sciambi and David “Big Papi” Ortiz were in a hotel elevator in 2015 when two young cats got in the elevator and immediately knew Big Papi was, well, someone. “Are you who I think you are?” one asked Ortiz. “I don’t know,” he responded. “Who do you think I am?”
“Flo Rida!” the kid finally replied, thinking he was the rapper, not the Red Sox great.
Well, then. Check out the rest of Sciambi’s interview from Wednesday night with Ortiz, in which, among other things, Big Papi talks about the time NBA legend Michael Jordan left him in awe:
A young kid was fortunate enough to meet Miami Heat legend (and champion) Alonzo Mourning on Wednesday and would you get a load of this — the youngster had the nerve to ask Mourning, “And, what’s your name?”
Luckily, we’re here to teach. Now listen and learn.
Great moment today at a Heat charity event. Young kid doesn't know who Alonzo Mourning is. Zo explains… pic.twitter.com/uaiLSTeore
— Will Manso (@WillManso) June 15, 2016
THE HOMIE JUAN
Now, look. Juan Uribe might actually be the coolest player in all of Major League Baseball. The 37-year-old Dominican has been beloved in clubhouse after clubhouse as he’s shuffled around the league throughout the years. He wears some of the boldest and best outfits in all of the sport, and it was once even documented by Hanley Ramirez when both played for the Los Angeles Dodgers:
Now with the Cleveland Indians, Uribe took a hard grounder to the groin recently that brought him to his knees. Uribe wasn’t wearing a protective cup, which exacerbated the pain, but at least he has a good explanation for why he can’t use one:
Juan Uribe said today he doesn't wear a cup because the trainers don't have one in his size…. Then he said I'm serious.
— Andre Knott (@DreKnott) June 13, 2016
And in case you haven’t heard, Uribe reminded us again yesterday:
In other news, Juan Uribe says he still has not found a cup that will accommodate him. He remains unprotected.
— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) June 15, 2016
Salute? Blessings? It’s something, all right.
FOR THE CULTURE
The Baltimore Ravens cut tackle Eugene Monroe, who has been advocating for players to be allowed to use medical marijuana. The team made sure to note that it in its press release.
Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams announced last week that his office will seek to release 300 people who were given sentences without parole as teenagers.
Salt-N-Pepa and DJ Spinderella will be honored at VH1 Hip Hop Honors: All Hail the Queens on July 11. Missy Elliott and Queen Latifah were already announced as honorees.
Steven Palazzo, a House Republican from Mississippi, introduced a measure Tuesday that would’ve prevented civil rights leader Rep. John Lewis from having his name on a U.S. Navy ship. Luckily, the House Committee on Rules didn’t take up the measure.
This #MeetAMuslim hashtag is also something y’all should check out. It’s lit.
Here’s a fascinating feature about jailhouse lawyer Derrick Hamilton.
TOP THREE TWEETS
Every morning we’ll hit you here with the best of what we saw on social media the previous night. Why? Why not?
1. GET IN FORMATION
— ŁJ (@asahdsendthat) June 15, 2016
2. COME GET YOUR MANS
— Douglas Pucci (@SonOfTheBronx) June 15, 2016
3. I MEAN, LOOK
As @bomani_jones has pointed out numerous times: OJ brushed his hair backwards. Tell-tale sign.
— Martenzie Johnson (@Martenzie) June 16, 2016
The culture of verbal put-downs has deep roots in the black community, from African rituals and schoolyard dozens to Jelly Roll Morton lyrics and rap’s eternal crusade against sucker MCs. At best, basketball taunts represent improvisational brilliance and bravado, rising above crude insults to an art form based on creativity, wit and performance.So when it comes to talking trash, the names below are the greatest. Don’t disagree with me, or I’ma come over there and teach you how to read.
Kevin Garnett: Jordan is The Greatest, but Kevin Garnett is The Illest. He (allegedly) talked about Tim Duncan’s dead moms. He (supposedly) told New York Knicks’ Carmelo Anthony that his wife, LaLa, tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios. What’s undeniable is that an aged, broken-down KG talked garbage (hell nah, “trash-a– n—–”) while sitting behind the bench in street clothes. That’s true dedication to the craft of trash.
— Reese Waters (@reesewaters) June 16, 2016
"If we had a Latin jury…we would've had a mariachi band out front." – Carl Douglas is real as hell #OJMadeInAmerica
— Aaron Dodson (@aardodson) June 16, 2016
I would buy a DVD box set of the OJ trial worth Carl Douglass commentary for $99
— Myles Brown (@mdotbrown) June 16, 2016