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Don’t try this at home: a 36-year-old accountant plays goalie for the Blackhawks

Here’s why it would never work in football, basketball or baseball

5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

NFL

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.

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5:34 PMYou know the scene in Rudy where members of the 1975 Notre Dame football team lift the titular character on their shoulder pads and carry him off the field? Such a heartwarming, grit-into-greatness underdog story of an objectively mediocre kid who Chester and Spike’d his way onto the field for a big-time college football program.

In 2018, we now have Rudy 2 (or 2 Rudy 2 Furious, or the Nike-inspired Ru2y).

On Thursday night, 36-year-old accountant Scott Foster suited up as an emergency goalie for the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks when they faced the visiting Winnipeg Jets because of injuries to starter Anton Forsberg and backup J.F. Berube, and a demotion of Jean-François Berube to the team’s minor league affiliate earlier in the week. Foster, who played hockey at Division I Western Michigan, was signed to what’s called an amateur tryout (ATO) contract, which was for just one day and came with zero compensation.

Unlike Dan “Rudy” Ruettiger, Foster actually played admirably in his lone outing, playing in 14 minutes against the playoff-bound Jets and stopping all seven shots he faced. His 1.000 save percentage would tie him for the league lead if he were eligible.

Hockey, as Stu Hackel at The Hockey News pointed out, has one of the weirdest rules of any of the major American sports leagues that allows any Joe the Plumber to lace up his skates and go up against real-life professional athletes. “It’s the only pro sport with the potential for someone not on the roster to come out of the stands and actually play in the game,” Hackel wrote.

And while the Bow Wow-led Like Mike inspired many basketball fans to believe they, too, could cross over Jason Kidd or Allen Iverson, what Foster managed to accomplish on Thursday is next to impossible in the other three major sports. In essence, no amount of “intelligence,” “intangibles” or “determination” is preventing any nonprofessional from getting washed if they step on the field, court or diamond.

Here’s why:

National Football League

If you ever wanted to experience a ruptured spleen, broken back and concussion all at once, just try returning one kickoff against an NFL special teams unit. No amount of padding is saving you from a 280-pounder running 20 mph at you with nothing in his way by air and resistance. A 36-year-old who used to play tight end for Miami (Ohio) 10 years ago wants zero parts of James Harrison in the open field. Harrison would fold that person up like a fitted sheet and toss him on the sideline like he was taking out the trash. Brian Bosworth was the baddest man on the planet until he met Bo Jackson, so there’s nothing but blood and guts in the future for any lesser person against NFL competition. Go be a family man rather than try this.

National Basketball Association

Remember that time DeAndre Jordan murdered Brandon Knight? Or the time Kyrie Irving made Knight look like he was doing the Wobble on the court? Or the time Nikola Pekovic ran through Knight like he was just a child? What I am trying to say here is that if a 6-foot-3, 195-pound man like Knight gets embarrassed nearly every night, what chance does Robert Jones from Queens have against a charging LeBron James coming down the court? Deflecting a 90 mph hockey puck is peanuts to Shaquille O’Neal caving in your chest like the hood of a car. There are no longer “posterizations” in the NBA, either; the second you get dunked on or crossed over like Wesley Johnson, that clip has already been shared on Twitter more than 200,000 times. There’s no coming back from being on the wrong side of a meme. I am almost 100 percent certain that Johnson hasn’t been seen since what James Harden did to him.

Major League Baseball

What baseball lacks in contact, it makes up for in nostalgia and danger. For one, no matter how many times you visited the batting cages at your local miniature golf facility, you’re not making contact with any ball that Clayton Kershaw or Noah Syndergaard are sending across the plate. In hockey, you can at least use your body to deflect the puck; there are no such safeguards in baseball. A 100 mph fastball is doing one of two things: 1) safely landing in the catcher’s mitt or 2) ricocheting off your skull because you played the game the “wrong way.” That’s the real danger in the majors. Brain aneurysms are handed out like candy in that sport because someone had the nerve to flip his bat 12 feet into the air. How do you think you’d manage when you’re desecrating the sanctity of baseball by not paying your dues by riding on a musty bus to the middle of North Dakota to play in front of 1,500 fans? Even if the pitchers don’t get you, there’s a guy at second base ready to fracture your leg or a 72-year-old coach trying to run up on you from the dugout. High risk, zero reward.